Shwe Wutt Hmon

I did this series for my “Self-Portraits with Strangers” assignment during the "Developing a Project Narrative/Self-Portraiture" class taught by our great mentor Abby Robinson as part of the CDPP (Contemporary Documentary Photography Practice) program in 2019. Throughout the week-long intensive course, we explored the notion of "Self" and learned a lot about portraiture and self-portraits. Every day, Abby challenged us with different self-portrait assignments such as "Self-Portrait with Food," "Self-Portrait as a Different Gender," and "Self-Portrait with Strangers." We were excited to try crazy ideas, do silly things, experiment, learn, and play. Those were the good old days.

My basic intention was to challenge myself and overcome my discomfort in approaching strangers to ask permission to photograph them. I went to my favorite bar and asked random men to be photographed with me. I adopted a persona of a badass woman, using humor to expose stereotypes often projected by society. In the end, I think the photos reflect my alter ego and highlight the importance of my own self, with males as just supporting characters in my story.

I vividly remember how everyone at the bar was surprised to see me change into different outfits and makeovers throughout the evening. I placed my camera on a tripod across the bar, which is on the edge of a platform on a busy road in Yangon. I dressed up, changed outfits, and had to run, place myself in the frame, and pose with the person who generously helped me for my assignment in a mutually agreed-upon posture to be photographed by the ten-second timer. I didn't have a remote shutter release then. The technical aspects were not challenging for me at all. The most testing task was to approach a person and ask to be photographed together. To me, it's mentally demanding to connect with a stranger within a very short period through my developed alter ego. I also wanted the process to be playful and fun.

When we presented our images the following day, I received positive feedback from our mentor and fellow classmates. Abby encouraged me to keep working on the series to a broader scope. I was pleased with my self-assigned challenge, the process, and the result. However, I didn't feel a compelling reason to continue. I thought this kind of alter ego self-portrait idea wasn't new. My mentor convinced me otherwise. She said, "True, others have done similar things before. But yours are very funny and possess a sense of humor and play that is unique to you. You can be more explorative and express your alter ego and your self-portrait and you can do a lot more." Despite her encouragement, I have not continued the series since then.

That is one self-portrait exercise I tried well. It's true that I do a lot of self-portraits, but there is always urgency and reason whenever I make one. I might discover new layers and elements of myself through the image-making process, but I have always been clear about why I need to do it, what I want to achieve, and how I would do it from the beginning.

Lately, I've felt an urge to create a self-portrait. It's a vague urgency, and I can't find a reason that convinces even myself why I need or want to do it. Some days, I imagine going to my favorite bar, setting up my camera on a tripod, sipping cold beer, gazing around, and asking strangers to be photographed with me when I feel motivated. After some time, I wonder why I have to do it and feel that’s not the self-portrait I want to create right now. Some days, I believe I have a profound desire to make a self-portrait. Other days, I doubt myself, thinking I might be deluding myself with an unnecessary desire. I really don't know yet if I will do something soon or end up doing nothing this time. I don't know yet.

© Shwe Wutt Hmon

26 May 2024

2:59 PM Chiang Mai